DFC #85

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

See?? "Cathy" he laughs at. "Dilbert" he snickers at. Freakin' "Snuffy Smith" rates a chuckle. But us? He just sits there and makes up new, evil things for us to say. What a sicko.Zenmaster

Oh, that's not hair. I tried to connect the liver spots on his head while he was napping.Greg J

You mean he was your 'first time'? Mine, too!!anon

Mommy, if this is what I have to look forward to, then slash my throat right now.greg hardesty

I've had my finger in this hole for a half-hour now and my fucking arm feels like its gonna fall off. Transportation cuts my ass! Damn these inflatable busses!Tazabby

O.K. *fine*. It wasn't "Not Me"...*he's* the guy who's been torching those Black churches. Now will you stop asking me about it?Kevin Sterner

Look at that. Old guy, living alone, his kids never call, never write. I tell you, it's not just tragic, it's criminal. Ten bucks says he shits his pants by 18th street.MrNeutron

I took the dentures right out of his mouth 15 minutes ago while he was snoring. And he STILL doesn't know they're gone!Tazabby

He's going to be really pissed when he finds out I exchanged his nitro tablets for Tic-Tacs.DMW

Why do they put Dad's strip on the Funny Pages when it clearly isn't?DMW

The ad he circled has our phone number it. What the hell's a rubber fetish?zazu

Is that the ghost of some relative I'm unaware of?PDA

"Y'know, these all-night binges are pretty cool, Thel."Capt. phealy

Richard Lamm has it right -- guys like him have a duty to just die!Kurt L.

The German accent, the thinning hair, the odd interest in the Ayrian figures in 'Prince Valiant' ... Trust me on this one, Mommy -- It's HITLER!!JPL in Philadelphia

Isn't he supposed to stop the bus before checking a map?Kurt L.

Think about it mommy, that man could be our next president.anon

You're saying this is what I'd look like if Daddy aged us realistically in this strip?Dofang

And when I take over, useless old non-productive citizens like him will ride in the back of the bus where they belong!jerright

A guy like that... we could kill him and no one would ever know!Joe Batutis

I'm serious, he's been lookin' at your cartoon and breathin' heavy for five minutes. If I hear a zipper, I'm outta here!anon

Look...I don't care if he IS a shriveled-up old man! He's wearin' a gold watch so I figure he's got some bread. Now get up there and ask him if he wants a "date" for a 100 bucks, and maybe we can pay the electric bill this month!kafka

He's rich, he's horny, he's gonna die soon. Do I hafta draw you a fucking picture?!Phaze

"Wow! I bet my phrenologist'd *LOVE* to get a hold of THAT head..."hippie

Actually, I find walking in public without any pants to be quite invigorating!zazu

Is that THE guy who reads our strip?zazu

That man scares me mommy. He's laughing at dad's cartoon.zazu

You mean, our tax money gets wasted on old farts like him? That does it -- when I grow up, I'm joining a militia!Kurt L.

Phew--I'd recognize those dog food farts anywhere. You tell him to put a cork in it.Ethelred

Look, I really don't mind visiting Billy at reform school. It's the conjugal visit part that makes me uneasy.zazu

I say go for it. So what if he's old, bald, smells like rancid bacon fat and lugs around 80 copies of Mayor. Ed Koch is still a helluva catch! zazu

All I know is, he's fondling his axe, mumbling "damn Liars! I'll show 'em all!" and he's reading our strip. I say we get off now! zazu

He was watchin' when you bent down to tie my shoe, What are "gazongas"?Vice Pope Doug

Why do you think it's degrating to women?? She's got the whip.a little man from another place

You rub up next to him, and I'll take his food stamps.Klieg

I'll take you on, ya' lousy bastard! You know what I like about old people? They can't hear a damm thing.Klieg

He was trying on dresses at the same time you were! If you ask me, he doesn't have the legs for it.Anastasia

How much do you wanna bet I can cause him to have a heart attack by the next stop?Anastasia

Hey, Mom! Isn't that the same issue of "Suckin' Sluts" with your picture?Ida Know

Oh, that reminds me: Daddy wants us to pick up some beef jerky on the way home.Rotter

What about him? Do you think he's riding the bus because his spouse drank away all the car payments, too?Rotter

You're doing very well, Thelma. OK, I'm going to count slowly backwards from 5 to 1, and when I say "One" you will awaken, convinced that the old man is a giant burrito and you'll be so hungry that...Rotter

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