DFC #88

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

It's not MY fault! Bil was supposed to finish erasing these toys from the Christmas panel, but then "Uncle" Roy stopped by with two free tickets to the all male nude mud wrestling match.Tazabby

You know damn well I can't clean this mess up until the fucking DFC people leave. So while we're waiting, I'm gonna go and set the dog on fire.Tazabby

Dammit, Mom!! I told you if I had furniture in my room I could clean up this fucking mess. But dad spends all the cash on his booze and boyfriends, so we get shit! So don't blame me for not cleaning up my room you fucking bitch! I could kill you and your fucking asshole for a husband!! Go fuck yourself!!! What??? All you wanted was the laundry?? Er. . .uh. . .did I say all those things? Umm. . . oh fuck me.a little man from another place

Sorry, I meant to say "why don't you PLEASE clean this fucking mess, bitch?"Non Anon

"I don't care what you want! *I* was the one who went to the trouble to shoplift it, so *I'm* keeping it all!"Jason D. Sinclair

Don't give me that "hands on hips" crap. If you can afford the toys, you can afford the maid.Penn Man

Geez - I know my room is messy, but you didn't have to dislocate my shoulders like that.eaton

"You're right. I had no right to rock this hard."The Turtle

Well, I've tested all these toys for durability and they all failed. Take them back and get me some new ones.Tazabby

"Do you really think I would hock the furniture just to buy toys ?"Larbo

Well, dad's the only union cartoonist around here. So if you want a toy box to put this crap in, then you go wake him up! zazu

Well what would your room look like if you took some blotter acid and watched Un Chein Andalou 20 times in a row?zazu

I'm on strike until we don't have to wear these damn uniforms any more.Moi

Look, I'm trying to get your fucking dildo... Gimme a sec, it's stuck...Elessar

It was Pink Floyd! They thought it was their hotel room!The Drew Man (:|=

How come all my toys are here in your room? And why do they smell like fish???Kurt L.

Compared to that passed-out heap of a father on the floor in the corner, I'd call this downright neat.Don Spudleone

I'm sorry mommy, I'll do a better job cleaning my breasts, uh I meant room - Freudian SlipYakko

Enough of this "you're getting warmer" shit. Where the hell did you put my rubber woman?DMW

If you think this is a mess, check out Billy's sheets the morning after Baywatch is on.DMW

What??? It's not like I killed P.J. . . . . . . or something . . . .uh, nevermind . . .just don't look in the closet.a little man from another place

Wipe that superior smirk off your face. I hid your vibrator. So if you want it back, YOU clean up this damn mess!Mo Cowan

My component miniaturization techniques could revolutionize military applications for a generation, and you want me to put them in a TOY CHEST?Diggit

It stomps through Downtown Tokyo, spreading carnage in its wake, when suddenly it comes up against its greatest foe: Wench-Ra!MechaGumby

Not Me's got a brother, Mom. His first name's "Bite."MechaGumby

Pick them up? And lose my $5,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts? I don't think so!Kurt L.

Explosion? What explosion? No bomb-making going on in here, nope! Definitely not hiding fuses behind my back!Kurt L.

Don't look at me! Daddy threw this crap on the floor, so he'd have another cute fucking picture for his strip!Kurt L.

Look you tell that son-of-a-bitch to get me a computer so I can setup a relational database tracking the age, condition and location of my stuff and I'll clean up. Until then everything stays where I can see it.Yakko

Damn straight it wasn't me - I've been trying to undo these nerdy pant cuffs all day. Keef

Your problem is that you don't give a flying fuck about the struggling artist.zazu

"Grounded?" HA! Like I ever go anywhere, anyway! I can't even reach the doorknobs, stupid!Kurt L.

For the last time: until you get me some fucking furniture, there is nowhere else to keep my toys! You dumbass!Kurt L.

Say... what's it like to have elbows?Kurt L.

Don't worry... P.J.'s in a safe place. We'll discuss this further, after you clean up my room.Kurt L.

"Don't touch any of it! It's a trap for Ida Know and Not Me! There's this guy Mulder from the FBI waiting outside with an infra-red camera and stuff -- this time, I'm gonna prove they're real! And then you'll all owe me a big-ass apology!"zed-iculous

"Well, what is a mess, really? I mean, for example, to the Zaambuutu tribe of Zaire, a mess like this made in the home of one's elder is a sign of great respect and fealty. And among the !nkeh people of the Gobi desert, a bunch of crap strewn over the floor like this is part of a complex fertility rite designed to please their Gods and bring prosperity and new births to the tribe. So, you see, it's all a matter of perspective, really. Anyway, I'm going outside. Bye."zed-iculous

Ida Know? Not Me? Uh, uh... well, there's a new ghost in the house named It's Not My Fucking Fault So Leave Me the Fuck Alone You Skanky Ho. Maybe it was him.ferret

Wait a minute. We handcuffed each other, and now you don't know where the keys are?!Dark Roger

Ya know, Mom, we could slap you into Photoshop, get rid of the lines at your collar and shirt sleeves, plop a few pixels on the tips of the 'ole gazoombas, and well, we'd certainly have a more interesting scene than what's currently happening.ferret

No, I'm not gonna blame it on "Not Me" -- I'm gonna blame it on Daddy, his friend Roy, and their tequila-swillin' back-packin' buddies from the Navy base! Vice Pope Doug

I don't LIKE the DFC any more! I wanna go HOME!!!Vice Pope Doug

Because workin' in a pristine, G-rated, holier than Happy Days fuckin' environment can freak a person out once in a while, okay?Vice Pope Doug

It was this big, swirling vortex. And all of the sudden this cat and this penguin stuck their heads out, shouted "Come with us!", grabbed Dolly and Billy and left me behind with the mess. Now they're in the land of retired comic characters and I'm stuck here. So if you want this cleaned up, do it yourself. I'm going to go drown my sorrows at the crack house.Anastasia

Oh,I see, look at what a mess *I* made huh?! Lets talk about a middle-aged whore with a speed-racer helmet hairdoo, with zero personality, a loser of a boozing husband, and four dysfunctional melon-headed kids. Now THATS what *I* call a mess!!kafka

You can trash all this shit, all I need is a hot beta browser and a cable modem.Ethelred

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