DFC #90

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I've already got Dolly in here! Now turn my Soaps back on or YOU'RE NEXT!Karlie

Listen, Billy. I know it was funny at first to bind Jeffy hand and foot and make him watch the Jerry Lewis Film Festival, but he's in the way of the vacuum, so move him or free him.Lyzza

Dolly watched from the sidelines with anticipation as her cleverly placed venomous Sumatran lizard moved to end mom's incessant nagging forever.Straz

The boys looked at the football players, and then looked at their mother's hairdo. Suddenly, they knew where Thelma drew her inspiration of hairstyles from.Greg J

Was that Daddy's toupee?DMW

That dickhead Bil would draw all this shit in here the one day I vacuum!Pirate

Wow! Un Chien Andalou! Let me know when the eye ball slitting part comes up!zazu

You know the rules, Billy. No More Spike Lee films..and stop calling me White Devil!zazu

What do you mean, Linda Blair vacuumed up Dolly while watching Un Chien Andalou?The Outsider

Hey, wait a minute. I just realized that the Gaylaxians symbol is ripped off from Hoover!His Imperial Majesty

An NFL Quarterback?!? Look, "Jeffrina," the closest you're ever gonna get to a career in pro football is as a clubhouse janitor for the Patriots, so the sooner you learn how to run one of these things, the better!Rotter

Didn't know I could do that, did ya'? Well, if you want me to turn your head back to normal, you'll clean up your fucking toys!anon

Spin your head like that one more time, young man, and I'll have you burned at the stake myself!Tazabby

If you don't pick up this shit, I'll de-ball all three of you faster than you can say "Hoover"!wolf

Now, am I mistaken, or was Dolly right here just a second ago?anon

This is the first time that bastard Bil has given me a speaking line in fucking ages! I have NO idea what to say! SCRIPT!!!Vice Pope Doug

Ok, that's enough for you young man. Billy, be a dear and give me a turn on the riding vibrator - er, vacuum cleaner!patrik

Move your ass or the Vacuum-Monster will get you too!patrik

Well Billy I hope your ready for about a million Exorcist captions.Yakko

Generic DFC Caption #1 - Your all a bunch of Melon-headed freaks.Yakko

Generic DFC Caption #2 - Whose turn is it to pick your father up outta the curb?Yakko

Oh, so you're gonna challenge this vacuum with your crappy little car, P.J.? Fine, but I'd better not hear you crying to Daddy later with a twisted piece of metal attached to a mangled hand.Tazabby

Quit being a wise-ass; you have so seen me use it before! You were just too young to remember, that's all. Kurt L.

Look at what those sports programs do to you--PJ's head looks like a mammary gland.Ethelred

You boys wanna be assholes when you grow up like those coke-snortin', game-throwin', testosterone-enraged, gang-raping, scofflaw, egomaniac sports heros?Ethelred

I don't care if it's a good game or not. This is the DFC, and I want you to put the porno tape back in right now.The Lawyer

Sorry, kids, but with that new TV and VCR, we can only afford to keep two of you. The remaining one will be driven into the wilderness to fend for himself. Eenie meenie meinie moe...Ned the Fed?

Go outside and play. We're getting too many sex video captions.zazu

Yeah, you possessed my son, fine. Then I guess it wouldn't be too much trouble for you to levitate yourself so I can finish the damn vacuuming.MechaGumby

The years of tedium had finally gotten to their mother. As she screeched at the boys to bow down before the most holy of household appliances, Dolly snuck off to make the call to the state hospital that would finally release them from their mother's dementia.MechaGumby

Billy, you have small hands, reach into the fan and see if you can unclog it.el Marko

When I was YOUR age, I was doing something useful with my time! Why don't you do something constructive and pimp your sister down at 42nd and Vine. Money doesn't grow on trees ya' know!kafka

Don't sit so close to the TV, boys. The radiation will make your heads all defor...oh, never mind.Pope Rich

"All right, you're on! If the Oilers take this game, I'll turn a blind eye to any terrible thing you want to do to Jeffy!"Angus Mac Og

A-hem... I don't suppose any of you have seen the crevice tool for this, have you?B-girl starring in Peace the Warrior Tribe

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