DFC #91

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

My Pochahontas doll wasn't anatomically correct, but then I found Dad's power drill...Evil Ed

We want pizza for dinner or we start using the voodoo doll again!Tom Servo Fan Club

Remember that last german family that lived here, who were all killed by intruders? I tell you, I hate it how their polkas haunt us.punmaster

I want to be just like Barbie; I've started by throwing up lunch.Myke

I just thought you might like to see how other cartoon females are being drawn. If I were you, I'd be pissed.anon

The Pocahontas product-placement is here. Are you the placement for The Hunchback of Notre Dame, or do you severely need a chiropractor?Greg J

Mom! Billy's Thundar the Barbarian just raped Jasmine and pillaged Ackraba.Monk n Treb

I hope you got the mixture right. Last time Dad could taste the Quaaludes.DMW

Mom, when I grow up, can I have breast enhancement surgery like Pocahontas?anon

Those guys at SpinnWebe must be masochists to open themselves up to another round of "poke-a-hot-ass" captions.His Imperial Majesty

We play "Pocahontas" different since Mrs. Littlefeather told us her version of the story. I'm John Smith, kidnapping Pocahontas to England, and Mary and Liz are in the backyard with the soldering iron, converting the rest of the playset to Christianity.Rotter

"Nice drawing of Pocahontas, eh Mommy? Man... you can practially smell the tracing paper."anon

Mommeeeee !!! Daddy's friend Roy is sayin' Pochahontas doesn't know how to _accessorize_!! Tell him to stop!Vice Pope Doug

Sorry, Pocahontas doesn't eat gruel. What else ya got?Phaze

"Put that bowl on the floor and eat from it! Lick my boots! Do it, or I'll stick another pin in the doll!"Mr. Clean

*Sniff* Hey, dad was right! The only thing you can make for dinner is reservations!zazu

How is it that you can heat up stuff on the counter-top?anon

I don't even know what you do with dolls, 'cept set 'em on fire, but Product Placement can be mighty persuasive come bonus season. So, uh, let's you and me and Pocahontas have a three party. Tree party. Whatever.Horselover Fat

Look, forget about slaving for the men folk, Thel. Let's sneak out the back door. It's mother-daughter night at the male strip joint downtown.Tazabby

Didn't you hear? Daddy has us in uniforms now! You hafta put on black pants like the rest of us!Vice Pope Doug

We're playin' Fatal 'ttraction! Do we have a big pot I can use to boil PJ's stuffed Bugs Bunny?Vice Pope Doug

Hi, Mommy! I brought my Pocahontas® doll with me so I could enjoy some of your delicious Dinty Moore® Beef Stew! I'm sure glad those product placement people are paying us for this...The Outsider

My Barbie's got HIV and herpes, so I'm going to toss her down a manhole.Ethelred

Don't you get tired of pretending to be the perfect housewife and get the urge to empty an Uzi into every man you meet? I know where you can get an Uzi dirt cheap!Ethelred

You know, Dad was mixing that while he was watching Baywatch. And you know how he *loves* to watch Baywatch.a little man from another place

Please, mother, may I have some more porridge?Don Spudleone

Mom, something occurred to me. If Barbie's only 11&1/2 inches tall, how short are we?Anastasia

Can't talk. I've got to take my doll down to the police station and show the nice lady there where Dad's been touching me.Anastasia

There's a big protest down at the reservation tonight. We're supposed to bring all our Pocohantas stuff there and throw it on the bonfire. We're also hanging Eisner in effigy. Wanna come?Anastasia

Tonight can we eat like Pocahontas? Y'know: maize, raw fish, and the flesh of the evil white man.anon

Can you believe that Dole? Sucking up to the cigarette companies like that? It's amazing what some people will do for money. Almost as amazing as this Pochahontas doll, manufactured by Mattell and Disney, folks who know how dolls should be. Just $12.95 at any toy store. I just love Pochahontas merchandice. She's so beautiful and brave!. Why, she's Pochahontastic!Ted the Def

Yeah, I am pretty sure that the caption "That fucking slut Pocohontas" would launch DFC into a series of grossly expensive lawsuits with Disney and Native Rights groups, thereby bankrupting the strip and saving us a great deal of future agony.knuckles

Can I have some tomato sauce for my new "Abortion Barbie"?el Marko

Dad really seems fixated on Pocahontas. Maybe you should grow your hair long, wear halter tops, and for God's sake, stop walking like Lurch!Roy

Oh goody....microwaved Spaghetti-O's again. Why don't I just bite the head off of my doll? I wouldn't want to put you OUT or anything!kafka

Look here, Mom, this barbie doll is almost as big as me! Who's my real father? The king of Id? Tazabby

So, this is my future...If I could reach the knife draw, I'd finish myself off now.Tazabby

Soooo, Mom, look who Dad's been hiding in his underwear drawer... Its a Disney girl, Mom. Bigger boobs, tinier waists, real hair. Don't you feel inadequate??B-girl starring in Shaft: The Return

Hey mom, have you noticed your legs lately? Their starting to look like Gumby'sRich Coughlan

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