DFC #92

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I got us some more L's so Dadddy can start spelling his name right.Robert

Would you believe all of the playground equipment in the park is held together with only two pins?DMW

Hey, Mommy, look! I got some sticks so we can build something and actually have more than one bloody piece of furniture in the house at a time!The Outsider

Hey everyone! I stole some interpanel dividers from Dennis's strip. Now they'll have to have a groupfuck scene!Ethelred

I got the last two earwax candles left at Thrifty. Who wants to go first?Ethelred

Hey, ya remember how Daddy used to be the only member of this family with a normal-shaped head? Well, not anymore!Kurt L.

...and so I took off the wiper blades, and now Billy's playing Spirograph on the windshield!Scott Ryan

HEY MOM! There was a great big explosion in the air and these came raining down out of the sky! Living in New York is so cool!Yakko

Thursday. Finally my turn to beat PJ about the face and neck.Skillet

Guess who's the new drummer for Smashing Pumpkins?The Sandman

Hey we got gifts from Uncle Ted in jail! What are pipe bo....."The last words the Family Circus ever spoke again."Monk n Treb

Geez, after what happened to John Lennon, I figured that Ringo would have had more security than that!jerright

Hey Mom! Can I crucify PJ?Jake

So, sticks and stones will break your bones, Billy? Thanks for the tip!jerright

Your special order came in at the drug store, Mom! Boy, these are HONKING tampons, aren't they?That Guy

Anyone makes fun of my jacket, they get it in both eyes.MechaGumby

"That blind guy down the street won't be hogging the sidewalk any more!"Mr. Clean

Look, Helga! They had a two for one sale! Got any triple A batteries?MechaGumby

Ok, I got the roman candles. Now where's the dog?zazu

Yeah, I know the Annie Hall look was in 16 Years ago, but hey, progress is progress!zazu

I'd like to see those bastards at the nuclear plant try to shut down their reactor without these!Westur the Unspeakable

Guess what? Barfy found Grandpa! Can I keep these?halaq

You put 'em together, use some glue, and they make a long stick! Billy sold 'em to me for my change jar with $25.00 in it! Cool, huh?Vice Pope Doug

I'm playin' "Vlad the Impaler"! Jeffy, I need to borrow your guinea pigs .....Vice Pope Doug

"Nine lives," my ass!Kurt L.

...and if you keep hitting it, the bruise goes from blue, to purple, to green! Go see for yourself, it's cool!Kurt L.

Dad says I'm as annoying as a short stick in the ass. Let's find out.Dark Roger

Look, don't ask how I opened the door with these sticks in my hand.
I used the Force, okay? how's that?Elessar

Years of PCP abuse had a permanent affect on Dolly's sense of reality. Recently, she had spent three full weeks thinking she was Ringo Starr..Tazabby

Well, I had to do some really unmentionable things to Dad with these sticks, but look! I'm finally out of that goddam uniform!Anastasia

Ha! The fools! They handed over the nuclear weapon plans for a briefcase full of monopoly money! As soon as I sell these to the Iraqis, I be on my way to Buenos Aires.Anastasia

Today, at my Future Businesswomyn of America meeting, we learned how to destroy men with these two sticks. If anyone wants me, I'll be practicing on Jeffy.Anastasia

Shrinking? Don't know what you're talking about. So, anyone want a french fry?Kurt L.

Why didn't Bil Keane just go ahead and write "sex toy" on those things?Ted the who gives a damn?


Don't worry...I put the saw and the ladder right back where I found them. OK, now, Daddy's going to start painting the house tomorrow morning, so make sure you charge the camcorder batteries.Rotter

Gee daddy, *thanks*. Nice suit, only tie is missing. Then you wonder where the DFC is getting their ideas for bull dyke jokes.Zebra

They're having a fire sale at the church, and I got the True Shinbones of St. Jude!karne

Daddy, you're right. The bo sticks work better than the quarterstaff on Jeffy.Non Anon

OK girls, I've got the mop handles. How about that game of Women in Prison?paTRICK heSTER

I won first prize at the Junior Lesbian Activist Fashion Show!! I got posters of k.d. lang an' Melissa Etheridge!Vice Pope Doug

A hit offa one of THESE an' you'll be giggling 'til you piss yourself at anything that moves!!Vice Pope Doug

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