The Annotated DFC : Misc. Notes

Caption Salvage Crew

Occasionally, people will raid the Yellows for a good caption. (That's what they're there for, right?) A convention has arisen for signifying that you've just stood on the shoulders of giants : You sign the captions from the "Caption Salvage Crew". There is no reason you can't also add your own signature, but it's considered courteous to also acknowledge the contribution of the original (if anonymous) writer. While the CSC is a favorite, there are also other amusing and creative ways of giving the Yellow Zone its due.

Now that the Yellow Zone contains names, people tend to give direct attributions, rather than only the CSC reference.

Some of my favorites are :

The Memoirs started with Dolly in DFC #37

For the first several "memoir" captions, it was simply "Dolly, Memoirs". Jeffy joined her in DFC #43 and Billy in DFC #50, coinciding with her third and fourth captions respectively. She still leads the pack with 63 memoirs so far.

When did Uncle Roy first appear?

He first appeared in DFC #4, and the submitter was anonymous: "Daddy's going away for awhile to be alone and find himself." "Alone? Then why's Uncle Roy waiting for him in that car around the corner?"

We don't learn he's Daddy's "friend" until...say, #37. This is when Vice Pope Doug re-introduces him : Hi 911? Daddy's friend Roy locked himself in the bathroom 'cause Daddy can't dress like Madonna right, and I gotta _GO_! Hurry!

[Contributions by wyvern]

Soylent Green is people!

Soylent Green is a reference to the movie Soylent Green. Set in a futuristic society, where the populace eats generic nutritious wafers, called "Soylent {Red|Yellow|Green}". In the end, the hero, played by Charlton Heston, finds out what they are actually made of and runs through the street yelling "Soylent Green is made of people! Soylent Green is people!"

Soylent Green tends to be on the Difficult Zone because there's only really one SG joke and it's been done in DFC #1.

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Sperm-Burping Gutter Slut

There's not much to say about this one. kafka started it in DFC #93. It's what we like to call Thel.

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The Pennant

The Pennant started out in DFC #184, during the Keane's Washington DC vacation. During the entire vacation series, Keane included one of the kids carrying a pennant saying "Washington DC", presumably to let us all know that the Keanes were on vacation there. Apparently, he thought the world-famous landmarks and monuments in the background of every scene weren't quite enough to clue us in on that one....

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"My Name is Percival Jehosaphat..."

It was rare that a P.J. memoir came down the pike without the author making a stab at the mystery of P.J.'s real name.

On occasion, Jeffy makes a similar statement (Geoff, Jeffrey)

What is this 'nutsak' and why is it being 'tripped in a frenzy of dik play'?

The phrase "whoaaaaa im trippin my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play" was red astericked (and rightly so) in DFC #235. In the same cartoon, alanon entered the caption Bil just stared. "What in the hell does 'whoaaaaa im trippin my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play' mean anyway?" he thought.

[Contributions by the skyclad answer]

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The Psychic Fern And Friends

The Psychic Fern started off as a mind-controlling house plant. Its goal was to take over the family and earn sweet freedom. Eventually, it spawned the sub-joke : The fern laid in wait. His time would come. His time would come. [The Stripper With The Heart Of Zinc]

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Alternative 'Not Me's

In addition to 'Not Me', 'Ida Know' and 'O Yeah', the DFC has identified even more invisible excuse creatures and exclaimation assistants, starting in DFC #88, with Not Me's brother, Bite Me, and It's Not My Fucking Fault So Leave Me the Fuck Alone You Skanky Ho

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Good On You, Mate!

In DFC #219, Jeffy appeared in a shirt bearing the phrase, "Good on you, mate!". As with all things Keane that make us scratch our heads and say "Whuh?", 'Good on you, mate!' went on to become widely parodied, starting in DFC #254 with Jeffy in a cowboy suit saying "Good On You, Pardner!"

Apparently, "Good on you, mate." is an Australian slang phrase.

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Extreme captions! SURGE!

It's all Doc Evil's fault. :-) In DFC #298, he submitted the caption YAH-HOOOOO!!! Extreme flower picking!!! * SURRRRRRRGE!!! *. According to Doc, he got the inspiration from MST3K and first used the gag in IADL.

This spawned the short-lived burst of captions :

"Extreme Tree Hugging! SURGE!!!" - #336
"Extreme urination! SURGE!" - #338
"Extreme douche! SURGE!!!" -#338
"Extreme failure! SURGE!!!" - #339
Extreme Homemaking, SURGE! - #340
Extreme Boredom, SURGE! - #342

poop holds it wher it is

In DFC #317, 'poop holds the tent wher it is' was red-captioned (and rightfully so).

In DFC #365, it showed up as : In retaliation against the DFC, Bil Keane unleashes his secret weapon: the "All-Difficult-Zone Series." His plan worked, as the best caption submitted was "the poop keeps the tent wher it is." --c.

[Contributions from Sean Reynolds, Ben McClellan]

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Generic DFC Caption

And some other captions in a similar vein :

Goofus and Gallant

Goofus and Gallant are two characters from Highlights for Children, a children's magazine most often found in a dentist's or doctor's office. They are the Yin and Yang of what appears to be a mini morality play. "Gallant flosses daily, while Goofus lets his teeth rot out of his mouth", "Gallant picks up his toys, while Goofus tries to kill his parents by leaving skates on the stairs". Things like that.... I can't remember if Goofus and Gallant are supposed to be brothers, but if they are, I'm sure Goofus is undergoing intensive self-esteem therapy.

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Marfan Syndrome

Sean Q. went on vacation to Washington D.C. and while debriefing, noted :

"Lincoln Memorial: If the statue is to scale, then the man had hands three times too big for his body."

Charlie Steinhice responded with "For what it's worth, Lincoln's hands really *were* that big, or damn close to it. I read somewhere that today's scientists strongly suspect he had Marfan Syndrome, which tends to make you (a) very tall, (b) have big hands and feet with elongated digits, (c) kinda ugly (see Vincent Schiavelli, the actor who played the guy who showed Patrick Swayze how to manipulate real objects in _Ghost_) and (d) die young of heart trouble (see the late Olympic volleyball star Flo Hyman.)"

Shortly thereafter, DFC #382 came along and Sean Q. remarked "Funny how this subject came up, and then we got DFC#382, where Bil has feet so big Ronald McDonald would point at them and laugh. I think you should give a bonus point to anyone who can get a Marfan Syndrome caption accepted."

hangtownman followed through with : The oversize feet shown in this image clearly identify it as a promo shot from Keane's failed 50's sitcom "My Favorite Marfan".
R.J.M.(arfan) added : Do you know the Marfan man, the Marfan man, the Marfan man...

Dr. Cuthbertson

In DFC #238, the Keanes visit their family doctor, Dr. Cuthbertson. The good doctor returns to the DFC captions regularly; he's even written a few scholarly papers on the Keane family. Dave Matthews gives us his full name (Dr. G. Henry Cuthbertson) in DFC #350.

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