The Annotated DFC : Poop Holds It Wher It Is



DFC #365
In DFC #317, Trevor Mills submitted 'poop holds the tent wher it is', which was promptly red-captioned (and rightfully so). In this cartoon, it showed up as :

In retaliation against the DFC, Bil Keane unleashes his secret weapon: the "All-Difficult-Zone Series." His plan worked, as the best caption submitted was "the poop keeps the tent wher it is." [c.]

A short while later, hangtownman spoofed it in his .sigfile on alt.fan.spinnwebe :

-= this post is held wher it is by poop =-

alt.fan.spinnwebe, being the fastest way to spread silliness among DFCers, helped the phrase take off. In this instance, it migrated from a.f.s. to DFC, rather than the other way around.

[Contributions from Sean Reynolds, Ben McClellan]



DFC #383
"All right, viewers, now comes your chance to participate! How should Jeffy defeat The Blob? a) freeze it with a zillion ice cubes b) trick it into a really big bottle of hair gel and seal it c) use poop to hold it wher it is. ......Vote NOW!" [Stealth]


DFC #386
Billy was shocked to discover that, without sufficient quantities of poop to keep it wher it was, the entire neighborhood had drifted off into the void. [Darth Tigger]


DFC #387
After a lengthy investigation by the FBI crimelab is was revealed that PJ's kiddy bowl was held in place with a suction cup and not poop as reported earlier. [Opie]


DFC #388
"OK, it's 3 A.M., Bil's passed out, and the kids are asleep...time to find out what really holds this tent wher it is. [Darth Tigger]

"Aw mom, can't we use something else to keep this tent wher it is?" [The Dog]



DFC #391
"All right, all right! We'll put on the t-shirts with the cute sayings on it. But when someone submits 'Where's the beef, mate?' or 'Poop keeps me with stupid', don't say I didn't warn you!" [Heath]

I'll never forget that day, Jeffy and I had finally worked out a viable Grand Unified Theory, one explaining the glue that made every star and planet move in the intricate dance of existance. We tried to tell our mother, but she was so mad about us sitting on the back of the chair that she beat Jeffy into a coma from which he would never recover. It took me 45 years to recreate the data lost on that day. The name Thel Keane should hereafter be known as one of the greatest impediments to our understanding of the workings of the cosmos as a whole. -- excerpt from The Poop Holds the Universe Wher it is; A Study of Dark Matter and its Effects on the Cosmos by William F. Keane [The Notorious D.F.C.]



DFC #392
"To trip, or not to trip in a nutsack in a frenzy of Dik play. That is the question. Whether 'tis good on you mate, or held in by poop..." -- William Keane the Second in the smash broadway hit, "Dfc does Shakeaspeare". [Mokohki-chan]


DFC #394
Dammit, mom, you cleaned up that poop and now ... the tent's gone! [Ken]

"Frood on you, mate! Poop holds the vacuum wher it is! Whooooooa I'm trippin my nutsak in a frenzy of Uncle Roy's dik play! Hey! You've only got one breast! Look out! Javelins! YAHHHHHHHH!" Dolly Keane. Once a child star, now a mindless vegetable. Just one more lost soul who fell over the edge...into the Difficult Zone. [Pete]



DFC #396
Bitch is always yappin' at us / sayin' that we fools / my homies just ain't down wit' dat / so we begin to drool / droolin' in the dark / droolin' in the light / droolin' as we tool the bitch / each and every night -- from the self-produced CD "The Rap Keeps the Cash Wher It Is" by L. Cool P.J., feat. Notorious D.O.G. [Vice Pope Doug (I couldn't sleep and this is what I think of?! )]


DFC #400
Okay, everyone give a hand to Agnes Crabtree who won the "I Want to Appear in the Difficult Zone" contest with the correct answers of Marfan and Vice Pope Doug! For those of you playing at home, the DZs in this panel: (a)Jeffy uses his Hypno-Hair on Agnes; (b)PJ offers her the chance to pull his finger; (c)Dolly enters with "Extreme Shopping!!! SURGE!!!; (d)Billy pulls off a double by trippin his nutsak while using poop to remain wher he is; (e)while Thel gives a rousing Food on you, plate!; (f) the cart is full of Soylent Green and Psychic Ferns; and finally (g) Bill and Roy stayed at home to do drugs and sodomize young boys!!! Again, thank you Agnes! Everyone at the DFC hopes to see you again soon! [Elbow (who think that there ain't a chance in Hell this will make it to green.)]


DFC #401
Obviously everyone had forgotten about the camping trip. On the second page, Thel added "calamine lotion, new tent, and poop - 10 lb. bag". [Vice Pope Doug]


DFC #403
Now you have to stay wher you are, Mister. [Mr. ?]


DFC #410
"I am NOT gonna pay a lot for this muffler!" "I'm keepin' the circle wher it is" "Heeeeeyyyyyy Macarena!" "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" "Where the fuck is my deli tray?" "I've replaced my brain with folgers crystals!" "Well, kiss my grits!" "Where the Hell are the Singing Cats?" "One to Beam up!" "Whoa! I'm trippin on a.." It was a sad day for the FC, when Jeffy finally broke down into a string of meaningless one liners.

-- Memoirs, Dolly Shultz-Keene [Terminus (With a little help from eveyone)]