DFC Caption Stats

Presented by Charlie Steinhice (Gen. Sedgwick)

Last update: 10/8/99
Up to cartoon #500

What a long, strange trip it's been.  I never knew one could look at a 

spreadsheet and get all melancholy before today.  Again, all the thanks

go to Spinn & his editors for years of guilty pleasures -- mine as well

as Thel's.    I dispened with the usual tracking of movement because 

(a) with newinformation on some multiple nicknames, it would have been 

very inaccurate and (b) I guess trend doesn't matter as much now.  (Sniff.)

* Welcome to the 400 Caption Club: Heath.

* A long overdue welcome to the 300 Caption Club: Andy Ihnatko.

* Welcome to the 200 Caption Club: Coalcracker.

* Welcome to the 100 Caption Club: Stefan Jones (AKA Hideo Spanner, Carker Mastudo)

* Welcome to the 50 Caption Club: K-Man,Thomas Wilde, Dave Matthews, Podbeing.

* Big streaks that made it intact to DFC #500: Helder (91), Torc. (27). 



DFC STATS THROUGH #500

Total captions:

Gen. Sedgwick	606

Heath	422

Vice Pope Doug	419

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	387

Helder	387

Anastasia	329

Namgubed the Merry Elf	318

Riff	315

Rotter	307

Doc Evil	290

zazu	282

Mr. ?	237

Ken (post-362)	232

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	232

Stan Xhiao	222

Westur the Unspeakable	221

Hang Lose	212

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	205

Magus	196

Tazabby	193

Kurt L.	187

hangtownman	172

Greg J	171

bobo	153

twomp/Erekose/phonsux	150

Bad Girl	140

Yakko	140

Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben	137

Nethicus	137

Torc.	137

'zoid	132

agm	124

Sean Q	121

Horselover Fat	120

Opie	120

Pete	115

Paul T. Riddell	111

phil	106

Stefan Jones/Hideo Spanner/Carker Mastudo	106

M	102

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	97

Stealth/Clay Colwell	96

Bill	94

me, myself, I	92

Larry Hastings	90

Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider	88

zen/Zenmaster	88

Mighty Owl	84

scoob	82

Monkey Punch	81

Roy/Roy Johnson	81

Schickelgruber	81

ks	78

Dan Jones	76

The 4-Star Pope	76

DMW	74

Generik	73

Werehamster/His Imperial Majesty	72

Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave	71

El Caballero	71

zed	71

Randall	70

Hugh Jass	67

Svingen	67

Craig	66

Judgement Night	66

Blake	64

Paul Roub	64

Pete B.	64

Shem	64

Coyote	63

The Lawyer	63

Don Spudleone	58

tv's Spatch	58

aa	57

Lots42/Lots4SaleToo!	57

kafka	56

Pastor of Muppets/Superquasihypercyberfunkymonkeyspank	56

Jojo the Spiv/JoJo the Idiot Circus Boy (etc.)	55

Lt. Dan	55

Podbeing	55

alanon	53

Lloyd Dobler	53

Peon	53

Ratman	53

Jester	52

RBByrnes	52

Shifter	52

Thomas Wilde	52

Who me?	52

K-Man (post-462)	51

nonentity	51

Orrin Bloquy	51

Dave Matthews	50

Diggit	49

Mycroft	49

MechaGumby	48

Bubba	47

Jokestress/Andrea	47

The Dog	47

Jenn Dolari	46

Orion the Hunter	46

The Fed/Ted the Fed	46

The Unmasked Revenger	46

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg	45

paTRICK heSTER	45

ewhac	44

Myke	44

ferret	43

Jizmo the Wonder Horse	43

Tillman	43

Dave the Fave	42

Frenchy, the toad swallower/Mark Cable	42

Kevy	41

Crackhead Jonny	40

Rishmawy	40

Trism	40

RipperJak/Wyvern/Sgt. Spam	39

Mr. Clean	38

marty gray/Matt Holm	37

Don Cabron	36

Paul "..." Reed	36

the skyclad answer/Tony's Dancing Clams/fish in the sky	36

Argyle	35

Capt. phealy	35

Eric the Black	35

Smokey	35

Dr. Schmuck	34

nine elle	34

Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon	34

Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega	33

Cadillac Man	33

Joe Blow	33

Joe Klein	33

Kittycat	33

Schmuck	33

BretttMaverick	32

ChoppingBlock	32

Ethelred	32

Prof. Moriarty	32

Kevin/Kevin Bergeson	31

Rick Coughlan	31

tralfie/jerright	31

Vitamin Tom	31

xian, the boy with the monkey heart	31

Zebra	31

BK	30

Blue Gargantua	30

Boschcat of the Apocalypse	30

megafrim	30

Skywise	30

snackwhore/LadyJ	30

mutantdog/MutantChickenDog	29

The Boy	29

Tom.  Just Tom.	29

Bil's Drinking/Drug Buddy	28

Joe Z	28

Moorlock	28

not elsie	28

OM	28

the Sandman	28

Deiphage	27

Ravecavy	27

Octophile	26

Preacher/Judge	26

Cheezo	25

Chutney	25

deX!	25

Elkman	25

Jamey "..." Powell/Crisis/James "..." Powell	25

Keef	25

Mr. Kontoontwon	25

Norm de Plume	25

The Dork Wanderer	25

The Most Rev. HolyOley	25

Ultra-Girl	25

Bill Fortier	24

Dave	24

Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar	24

munkiman	24

Roxanne LeReaux	24

Tangent	24

Tempus Fugit, the Time Flier	24

Tom Jenkins/Tom/Thomas Jenkins	24

Vinegar Tom	24

jedi mind trip	23

Mister Sinister	23

Otis	23

Radio Show	23

Rodney	23

T-Bone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!	23

Terminus	23

The Enigma	23

The Hanged Man	23

Colin	22

crispy	22

Desscribe	22

Tim Harrod	22

toade	22

agtorange 	21

Bill Hunter	21

Bongbrain	21

Dofang	21

HasNoName	21

Jim Smith	21

Marlboro	21

patrik	21

slacker	21

Dvandom	20

halaq	20

Jeffrey	20

lefty	20

rudy	20

Troy	20



Most panels with captions:

Gen. Sedgwick	302

Vice Pope Doug	228

Anastasia	210

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	202

Heath	198

Namgubed the Merry Elf	197

Riff	197

Doc Evil	193

Rotter	174

Magus	147

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	144

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	140

Mr. ?	129

Nethicus	124

Westur the Unspeakable	123

twomp/Erekose/phonsux	113

bobo	112

zazu	112

Yakko	109

Ken (post-362)	107

Tazabby	105

hangtownman	103

Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben	101

Horselover Fat	100

Greg J	98

Helder	96

agm	90

Stefan Jones/Hideo Spanner/Carker Mastudo	88

Kurt L.	87

phil	84

Hang Lose	80

Sean Q	79

Paul T. Riddell	78

Roy/Roy Johnson	75

Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider	74

Stealth/Clay Colwell	74

Larry Hastings	72

M	70

zen/Zenmaster	69

Stan Xhiao	68

Pete	67

me, myself, I	65

Schickelgruber	65

Randall	64

Werehamster/His Imperial Majesty	64

Paul Roub	62

scoob	62

Opie	61

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	61

Dan Jones	58

Hugh Jass	56

The Lawyer	55

Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave	54

Don Spudleone	52

Mighty Owl	52

Bad Girl	51

Bill	51

Blake	50

Coyote	50

Monkey Punch	50

Torc.	50



Consistency (pct. of panels with captions since your debut;

 minimum 10 panels):

Helder	96.0%  [How amazing is that?  Compare: anon	80.7%]

Gen. Sedgwick	79.5%

Ken (post-362)	78.1%

Stan Xhiao	75.6%

Hang Lose	75.5%

'zoid	75.0%

El Caballero	71.7%

Namgubed the Merry Elf	70.6%

K-Man (post-462)	69.2%

Mr. ?	66.2%

megafrim	65.4%

Heath	63.7%

Judgement Night	58.3%

Bad Girl	54.8%

Sean Q	53.0%

agtorange 	52.2%

hangtownman	52.0%

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	51.1%

Lucifer Antichrist	50.0%



Most likely to have more than one caption per panel 

(highest avg. captions for panels where their name appears at all;

 minimum 10 panels):

'zoid	8.80

Helder	4.03

Stan Xhiao	3.26

anon	3.26

ks	3.00

Bad Girl	2.75

Torc.	2.74

Hang Lose	2.65

aa	2.59

Svingen	2.58

zazu	2.52

Ken (post-362)	2.17

Who me?	2.17

Kurt L.	2.15

Heath	2.13

The Enigma	2.09

Gen. Sedgwick	2.01

Opie	1.97

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	1.92

Crackhead Jonny	1.90

K-Man (post-462)	1.89

Bill	1.84

Tazabby	1.84

Vice Pope Doug	1.84

Mr. ?	1.84

Tom.  Just Tom.	1.81

Westur the Unspeakable	1.80

Dr. Schmuck	1.79

Chutney	1.79

Boschcat of the Apocalypse	1.76

megafrim	1.76

Rotter	1.76

agtorange 	1.75

Greg J	1.74

Cadillac Man	1.74

Furr	1.73

Pete	1.72

Vinegar Tom	1.71

Lucifer Antichrist	1.70

zed	1.69

Deiphage	1.69

Dave the Fave	1.68

Jokestress/Andrea	1.68

hangtownman	1.67

deX!	1.67

Troy	1.67

Generik	1.66

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	1.66

El Caballero	1.65

Gaijin Marty	1.64

Monkey Punch	1.62

nine elle	1.62

The 4-Star Pope	1.62

Marlboro	1.62

Mighty Owl	1.62

Namgubed the Merry Elf	1.61

Xebec/2BRO2B	1.60

Riff	1.60

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	1.59

BK	1.58

Anastasia	1.57

Lloyd Dobler	1.56

Rick Coughlan	1.55

MechaGumby	1.55

Blaine C.	1.55

rudy	1.54

Craig	1.53

The Unmasked Revenger	1.53

Sean Q	1.53

Smokey	1.52

The Dog	1.52

DMW	1.51

Doc Evil	1.50

Bill Hunter	1.50

Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega	1.50

Dofang	1.50

HasNoName	1.50

Joe Blow	1.50

maf	1.50

Phat Cheops	1.50

Tom Jenkins/Tom/Thomas Jenkins	1.50

Zest-fully Me!	1.50



Most consecutive panels with a caption:

Gen. Sedgwick	114

Helder	91

bobo	48

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	46

Mr. ?	40

zazu	38

Stan Xhiao	37

Vice Pope Doug	37

Monkey Punch	31

Heath	30

Ken (post-362)	28

Anastasia	27

Lloyd Dobler	27

Torc.	27

Namgubed the Merry Elf	26

hangtownman	25

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	21

Tazabby	20

Hang Lose	18

Sean Q	18

Ethelred	17

Pete	17

K-Man (post-462)	15

Kurt L.	15

scoob	15

The Dog	15

DMW	14

Judgement Night	14

Svingen	14

twomp/Erekose/phonsux	14

aa	13

Bad Girl	13

El Caballero	13

ks	13

M	13

Schickelgruber	13

zed	13

Capt. phealy	12

Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave	12

Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega	11

Doc Evil	11

megafrim	11

Westur the Unspeakable	11

Greg J	10

Riff	10

Rotter	10

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	10

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	9

The 4-Star Pope	9

Troy	9

Yakko	9

alanon	8

Bill	8

Generik	8

me, myself, I	8

Nethicus	8

Opie	8

Pastor of Muppets/Superquasihypercyberfunkymonkeyspank	8

Paul T. Riddell	8

Randall	8

Trism	8

'zoid	8

Coyote	7

Diggit	7

Eric the Black	7

Joe Blow	7

Jokestress/Andrea	7

Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar	7

Orrin Bloquy	7

Pete B.	7

Prof. Moriarty	7

Rishmawy	7

The Lawyer	7

The Unmasked Revenger	7

ThreeSwords Delamitri	7

tralfie/jerright7

Vinegar Tom	7

Vitamin Tom	7

agm	6

Azazael	6

Dave the Fave	6

Deiphage	6

deX!	6

DieBilDie	6

Felix W.	6

Huggy Bear	6

Jojo the Spiv/JoJo the Idiot Circus Boy (etc.)	6

Magus	6

Mighty Owl	6

Mr. Clean	6

RBByrnes	6

RipperJak/Wyvern/Sgt. Spam	6

Stiles	6

The Fed/Ted the Fed	6

tmadigan/the former Tom Madigan	6

Who me?	6

Adam Cadre	5

Adam K.	5

Astriafiamante/Jessica Steinhice	5

Bill Fortier	5

Bill Hunter	5

BK	5

Crackhead Jonny	5

E.Novak	5

Frer	5

Hans	5

kafka	5

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg	5

Larry Hastings	5

Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider	5

Mad Mike	5

maf	5

Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben	5

Orion the Hunter	5

phil	5

Rev. Stackpole	5

Rick Coughlan	5

Roxanne LeReaux	5

Roy/Roy Johnson	5

Schmuck	5

Supernaut	5

The Boy	5

The Plague	5

Toothpick Vic Vega	5

treb	5



Most hat tricks (panels with 3 or more captions):

Helder	82

Gen. Sedgwick	80

Heath	63

Vice Pope Doug	52

zazu	46

Stan Xhiao	42

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	40

Hang Lose	35

Ken (post-362)	35

Mr. ?	30

Namgubed the Merry Elf	30

Rotter	29

Riff	25

Kurt L.	24

Tazabby	24

Bad Girl	23

Torc.	22

Westur the Unspeakable	21

Anastasia	20

Greg J	20

Doc Evil	19

hangtownman	18

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	18

Opie	15

ks	14

Pete	12

'zoid	12

Bill	11

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	10

Svingen	10

aa	9

Magus	9

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	9

bobo	8

Mighty Owl	8

zed	8

DMW	7

Sean Q	7

The 4-Star Pope	7

agm	6

Generik	6

Monkey Punch	6

Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben	6

Who me?	6

Larry Hastings	5

Lloyd Dobler	5

M	5

me, myself, I	5

Stealth/Clay Colwell	5

twomp/Erekose/phonsux	5



Most consecutive hat tricks:

Helder	25

Gen. Sedgwick	12

ks	11

Stan Xhiao	10

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	9

'zoid	8

Kurt L.	7

zazu	6

Hang Lose	5

hangtownman	5

Heath	5

Pete	5

Torc.	5

aa	4

Anastasia	4

Bad Girl	4

Ken (post-362)	4

Namgubed the Merry Elf	4

Vice Pope Doug	4

Judgement Night	3

Larry Hastings	3

Monkey Punch	3

Svingen	3

Tazabby	3



Most captions for a single panel:

'zoid	24

Bad Girl	16

aa	13

Who me?	13

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	12

Tom.  Just Tom.	12

zazu	12

Helder	11

Gen. Sedgwick	10

Hang Lose	10

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	9

Dr. Schmuck	9

Heath	9

Kurt L.	8

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	8

Torc.	8

Crackhead Jonny	7

Monkey Punch	7

Rotter	7

Stan Xhiao	7

Westur the Unspeakable	7

Anastasia	6

BK	6

Craig	6

Doc Evil	6

Greg J	6

ks	6

Magus	6

Mr. ?	6

Namgubed the Merry Elf	6

Rick Coughlan	6

Riff	6

Sean Q	6

Svingen	6

Vice Pope Doug	6

Bill	5

bobo	5

Colin	5

El Caballero	5

Frenchy, the toad swallower/Mark Cable	5

Generik	5

Ken (post-362)	5

K-Man (post-462)	5

Lloyd Dobler	5

Mycroft	5

Opie	5

Pete	5

Pete B.	5

Prof. Moriarty	5

Tazabby	5

The Dog	5

the skyclad answer/Tony's Dancing Clams/fish in the sky	5

Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella	5



Assuming they maintained their current pace, this would the best available

predictor of future performance -- if there were such a thing as future

performance.  [Sniff.]  The following are the only captioneers who 

averaged >= 1 caption for each panel since their debut 

(minimum 10 panels.)

'zoid	6.60

Helder	3.87

   [for comparison purposes: anon 2.63]

Stan Xhiao	2.47

Hang Lose	2.00

Ken (post-362)	1.69

Gen. Sedgwick	1.59

Bad Girl	1.51

Heath	1.36

K-Man (post-462)	1.31

Torc.	1.27

Mr. ?	1.22

El Caballero	1.18

megafrim	1.15

Namgubed the Merry Elf	1.14

aa	1.02



The others who averaged at least half a caption per panel:

Svingen	0.99

agtorange 	0.91

hangtownman	0.87

Vice Pope Doug	0.85

Lucifer Antichrist	0.85

Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child	0.85

Sean Q	0.81

Judgement Night	0.79

Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms)	0.78

Anastasia	0.78

Rotter	0.72

Monkey Punch	0.72

Doc Evil	0.70

Riff	0.69

Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V.	0.67

Vinegar Tom	0.67

Opie	0.66

rudy	0.63

Tom.  Just Tom.	0.59

scoob	0.58

zazu	0.57

Gaijin Marty	0.56

me, myself, I	0.51

Westur the Unspeakable	0.51



The Cat's Ass
Archive Index